3 Truths About Love That Can Elevate Your Marriage — By A Psychologist

Love might not always look how we think it should. These truths about love may feel ... More counter-intuitive, but are the key to creating a truly long-lasting marriage.
Love is often romanticized as a feeling that effortlessly sustains a relationship — a magical force that, once found, should naturally keep a marriage strong. We see this idea in movies, books and fairy tales, where love alone is enough to guarantee a lifetime of happiness.
But the truth is, love isn’t just something you feel — it’s something you do. Over time, even the strongest marriages go through shifts, and understanding the deeper truths about love can make all the difference between growing together or growing apart.
Here are three truths about love that can transform how you view marriage and elevate your connection.
1. Love Is Sustained Through Rituals, Not Just Feelings
Many couples believe that if they don’t feel “in love” all the time, something must be wrong. In reality, love isn’t about a constant emotional high — it’s about the rituals that reinforce connection. A litany of research shows that small, consistent gestures of affection, appreciation and attention have a greater impact on relationship satisfaction than grand romantic gestures.
For instance, a 2021 study published in Contemporary Family Therapy found that couples who spent more time talking — not just resolving conflicts, but engaging in everyday conversations — reported higher relationship satisfaction, greater closeness and a more positive perception of their partner. On the other hand, those who spent more time arguing experienced lower satisfaction and perceived more negative qualities in their relationship.
This means that love is built in everyday moments — in the way you greet each other in the morning, the inside jokes you share or the way you instinctively reach for your partner’s hand.
Additionally, psychologist John Gottman found that happy couples engage in specific daily rituals that strengthen their bond and create long-term relationship satisfaction. Here are five rituals that the Gottman Institute recommends: